Last week, after picking up Max from school, the three of us walked to our van, holding hands and perhaps even whistling or singing a little tune. I was in a good mood. I was happy to see Max after spending a quiet morning with Maeve. It was lunchtime. The sun was out, and we were just happy to be alive. Looking back on the scene now, I realize that many terrifying events are immediately preceded by ignorant bliss. Thank goodness, because if we always knew what was going to happen next, would any of us get out of bed in the morning?
I opened both van doors, and told Max to get in his car seat. I picked up Maeve and started to buckle her in, but within mere seconds, I heard Max screaming in a most startling way, "MOMMY!!!!!!" Immediately, fear and panic set in. He sometimes has the habit of running off down the street, and I thought for a split second that when I looked up, I would see him splattered in the road. But his voice did not sound distant; it sounded... up. I stepped away from the van and heard him again, "Mommy, look!!!!" Max had crawled up and was now standing on top of the van. He was not scared or upset -- he was overjoyed. Several people in the parking lot had stopped what they were doing to stare at Max's victorious feat. I screamed at him to get down. "It's not funny!! You might fall and break your leg! Or fall on mommy and break my leg!" He seemed truly mystified that I wasn't more impressed.
Maeve has either inherited the climbing gene as well or has learned the necessary skills from her brother. Occasionally during the day, I have to pee. I try to hold it for as long as possible, because taking the time pee opens the door for all sorts of mayhem to take place. And no, I don't sit on the toilet for five minutes and check my email. I get right to business. But my kids don't need five minutes to find trouble. They only need five seconds. It was mysteriously quiet while I was peeing, which concerned me right away. I had to pee a lot though, cause I had been holding it for so long, and the whole process seemed never ending. I wiped, flushed, washed my hands, and held my breath. When I walked out of the bathroom into the kitchen, this is what I saw:
Maeve had scaled the drawers and gotten herself on the countertop! And she was dangerously near the edge, stomping her little feet, saying, "Weeeeeee!!" Max of course became immediately jealous and wanted to get up there too. Maeve threw a fit when I made her get down, and seemed equally confused as to why I didn't get the same joy from her game.
Now I know that this might seem a bit far fetched, but I have a fear that the two of them are going to team up one day to conquer something really big. It will more than likely be on a day that I have to poop. They'd need more time to conspire. I imagine looking for them all over the house, and hearing a very far away pair of voices saying, "Look, Mommy!!" Finally, I would go outside. Maybe they'd be playing in the yard, kicking a soccer ball like normal children like to do. But instead, I will find this:
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I know that panicked feeling well. Very well. Juliana was out back playing one day and I then I didn't see or hear her. I opened the front door, just on the off chance, and she was standing by the end of our neighbors driveway. The twins had taught her how to climb along the outside of our back deck, she then learned how to jump down into the grass and run into the front yard.
ReplyDeleteI'm also super paranoid about our garbage disposal. I have nightmares about one of them standing in the sink and the other flipping the switch. It stopped working one day and it will not been fixed.